VeganCleopatra

*sigh* This was quite the frustrating book to read. For the first third or so of the book I wasn't certain how I felt about it, but this was largely due to my hesitancy to jump to conclusions. Well the potential middle of the road rating quickly deteriorated to a well-deserved one star. Needless to say I will not be continuing in the series unless I am at a level of boredom I have not yet experienced.

Let's start with Atticus. Atticus is supposed to be a Druid who is 2,100 years old. However, he acts like an idiotic teenager who thinks he knows it all. Atticus is far too immature to be believed as anyone who is more than a few decades old rather than 21 centuries old. Shouldn't one who has lived this long be a little more rough around the edges, a bit more wise? He makes ridiculous comments (jokes some might say if they were actually funny), is obnoxious to gods despite their ability kill him (oh please get rid of him Morrigan!), says whoa! and gadzooks (oh yes, very mature) and cannot contain his horniness despite literally being ancient. Atticus' inner dialogue is also quite clearly modern-day American and nothing like what you would expect someone who has lived so long to be. Shouldn't he be an amalgamation of the history he has lived??

One of the worst scenes in the book by far? When Atticus gives a paramedic a WEDGIE while he is trying to help him with a gunshot wound. WHAT THE F%&K is that?!?!?! A freakin wedgie???? Oh yes, I think 2,100 years is enough for Atticus. He also sleeps with this or that goddess because apparently he is irresistible. Yes, the red curly hair and long goatee is just freakin unbearably irresistible (not). When all is said and done, Atticus is quite frankly who Kevin Hearne dreams he could be. Male fantasy fulfillment is splashed across every page of this book.

This book is a classic example of telling not showing. Clearly the author was also trying too hard and it came through the writing. He tried hard to be funny but it just simply failed most of the time. The dialogue was stilted and the dull info-dumps were nearly unbearable.

The gods in the book were unimpressive as they were never fleshed out. I was largely attracted to the book due to the Celtic mythology aspect but Hearne failed in this department as well.

And then there is Oberon. Oberon does not strike me as a dog at all, just some jackass' idea of what a dog would sound like if you could communicate with him/her. I absolutely hated the storyline with Oberon wanting French poodles and then Atticus buying(?) poodles for Oberon to have his way with. Oh great, dog rape, what a grand way to end the male fantasy book!

P.S. Atticus gives Oberon (a DOG) both coffee and tea in this book, both of which are TOXIC to dogs. Caffeinated drinks such as coffee and tea have a similar impact on a dog's system that chocolate does (which hopefully people know is toxic as well). I hate to think of the number of idiots who gave their dog coffee or tea after reading this book, or at least thought it was ok! So not only a poor book but it sets a terrible example as well (and that isn't even counting the wedgies....ugh).